Posts Tagged ‘grammar’
7 More Mistakes to Avoid and Book Recommendations
March 10th, 2010 by Mary DeMuth
Here are my final seven mistakes to avoid. I hope this four-part series proved helpful as you strove to deepen and clean up your writing.
1. Mundane Prose. We don’t need to hear the mundane parts of a character’s day, or hear his mundane speech.
Example
John ate breakfast. He wiped his mouth, then slurped down some coffee. He put on his fedora, then slipped on his galoshes. He opened the front door, shut it, then opened the car door, heading to work.
John ate a quick breakfast, then headed to work.
2. MRU problems. Motivation Reaction Units (See Techniques of the Selling Writer, by Dwight V. Swain for a full explanation.) Please read this article: Writing the Perfect Scene.
3. Lack of emotional depth. In novel writing, we need to see the depth of a character’s inner landscape, which includes his/her emotional state. A reader needs to relate to the character. Some ways to create emotional depth: Shove the reader into the character’s head in the midst of a highly emotional/painful/surprising scene; show the character’s reaction to a dilemma; or show the character physically react to some disheartening news.
4. Word Choice. Sometimes a word isn’t the right one. If I write WC in the margin, it means you need to rethink the word you chose.
5. Wrong Word. Other times, you simply use the incorrect word. Consider:
Affect (a verb meaning “to influence”)
Effect (a noun meaning “result”—used as a verb when you mean “bring about” or “accomplish”)
Example: Lisle wanted to effect a change on her college campus so she smiled at every person she passed.
Correct: The effect of her perfume affected me for hours in the form of a splitting headache.
6. Nouns in Apposition. If the person you reference is one of a kind, you separate with commas. (Apposition means placed beside. The noun in apposition, called an appositive, identifies or explains the noun or pronoun that precedes it.)
Examples
Incorrect:
My wife Esther is the best cook on the planet. (Unless you live in biblical times or you’re a fugitive from Federal Agents, you have only one wife.)
Solved: My wife, Esther, is the best cook on the planet.
Correct: My friend Rebecca sent me a rather lengthy e-mail. (If Rebecca is one of many friends, this is correct. If she is the only friend, you need commas before /after her name.)
7. Avoid –ing. Overuse weighs down prose. When you finish a piece, search for “ing” and see how you’ve used—or misused—it.
Example
Awkward and wordy: Families were purchasing . . .
Correct: Families purchased . . .
Book Recommendations:
- Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynn Truss
- Techniques of the Selling Writer by Dwight Swain
- The Complete Guide to Writing and Selling the Christian Novel by Penelope Stokes (the chapter on POV is worth it—the best way I’ve seen it presented.)
- The First Five Pages by Noah Lukeman
- Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Brown and Dave King
- Scene and Structure by Jack M. Bickam
- The Novelist’s Essential Guide to Crafting Scenes by Raymond Obstfeld
- On Writing by Stephen King
Writing the Perfect Scene
10 More Common New Writer Mistakes to Avoid
February 12th, 2010 by Mary DeMuthFor those of you who love lists, here’s another list of ten common mistakes I see writers make when they come through The Writing Spa. Check and see if you make these mistakes too. And if you do, choose to make 2010 the year you change the way you write.
1 Starting the story too late. When I wrote my first novel, it took me 90 pages to get to the inciting moment. I believed I needed to tell all the backstory first. Not true. When I rewrote the beginning, I cut the first 90 pages, rewrote the beginning to have the inciting moment first. Then, I shared both beginnings with a critique group and asked which one had more emotional impact. Everyone said the second one. Start your story when it starts.
2 Lack of passion. If you’re not wild about your subject, it shows. Write from your passion and your words will have punch.
3 Overuse of had. When recounting something in the past, use “had” once, then keep the rest in straight past tense. Otherwise, you’ll clutter up your prose, make it gunky.
4 Too many modifiers. Use a better noun instead of a weak one that needs an adjective. Use a stronger verb instead of one that leans on an adverb for help.
5 Misplaced modifier: An adjectival (modifies a noun) or adverbial (modifies a verb) placed in an awkward spot—usually far from the word or phrase it modifies.
Misplaced: I learned how to tie-dye t-shirts on the radio.
Correct: I heard on the radio how to tie-dye t-shirts.
6 Punctuation and Formatting Errors:
- Punctuation within quotes. This is a proper ellipses: . . . (dot space, dot space, dot space)
- Use an em dash in a sentence: Bob ran his business to the ground—right after he alienated his wife and children.
To create the elusive, continuous-line, em dash: Type as usual, but when you want to make the em dash, type two hyphens in a row and simply continue typing the next word. As soon as you hit the “space” key after you complete that next word, the computer automatically turns the two hyphens into the correctly formatted “em dash.” (The funny thing is, the computer can’t NOT do this action automatically.)
Incorrect (but the “old” method on a manual typewriter): I left my favorite baking dish–a wedding present from Aunt Jackie–at the church potluck dinner yesterday evening.
Incorrect (a symbol, actually an “en” dash): I left my favorite baking dish – a wedding present from Aunt Jackie – at the church potluck dinner yesterday evening.
Correct: I left my favorite baking dish—a wedding present from Aunt Jackie—at the church potluck dinner yesterday evening.
- Don’t use ALL CAPS.
- When writing a title, italicize it, don’t underline.
- Don’t hit enter twice when you start a new paragraph.
- It’s no longer five spaces when you indent; use the Tab key instead.
- 11 or 12 point font, preferably Times New Roman.
- One inch margins all around.
- Use exclamation points sparingly. You don’t want to be the writer who cried Wolf!
7 Pronoun/Antecedent Problems. Be sure your pronouns agree with the words they’re replacing. A writer makes a mistake when her pronouns don’t match.
8 No Parallel Structure. When listing things in a series, be sure the structure of the first words in each series are parallel.
Example: The cat dodged the ball, ate a mouse, and is sleeping now.
Correct: The cat dodged the ball, ate a mouse, then fell asleep.
9 Dangling Participles. When you have a participle (-ing word) followed by a comma as a phrase (dependent clause), the word following the comma should be the one the phrase modifies. Example: Crashing outside, I jumped when I heard the thunder. Crashing outside, the thunder made me jump.
10 Purple Speaker Tags. When you attribute dialog to someone, refrain from using purple speaker tags. Said works best most of the time. Or creating the dialog with beats (sentences of action) works better, too.
Example: “Herb, you irritate me!” she exclaimed vehemently.
Solved: She stomped her tiny feet. “Herb, you irritate me!”
10 Common Writing Mistakes: Do you pass the test?
December 21st, 2009 by Mary DeMuthIn my adventures in publishing and helping new authors get published, I’ve found ten common mistakes authors should avoid. Look through this list. How many do you do? How many have you nixed? Keep this by your manuscript (fiction or nonfiction) as a handy way to self-edit your work.
1. Negatives: The mind takes 48% longer to process a negation. Eliminating no, not, don’t, and can’t will clean up your writing.
Example: He didn’t know.
He was clueless.
Example: The sun didn’t shine.
The clouds covered the sun.
2. Repeated words: Often new writers will repeat words within paragraphs or subsequent pages. Be particularly aware of pet words (your own personal overused words). Every author will have different words, but a careful reading of your draft will turn them up. Some oft-overused words include: since, just, still, might, manage, began, started, really.
3. Adverb Adoration: Adverbs strengthen weak verbs. Why not write with strong verbs instead?
Example: She walked lazily down the path.
She ambled down the path.
Heidi wrote her sentences quickly. (Wrote is not a weak verb, but now that it’s modified, quickly weakens it.) Instead: When her hand touched the pen, it sped ink across the page in a blur. (See how you can transform a sentence from something mundane to something visual? How tweaking your verbs, making them stronger, helps you to show instead of tell?)
The dog gnawed the bone maliciously. (This sentence would be better off without the adverb.) Or instead: The dog attacked the bone like prey.
He hardly noticed the scar criss-crossing her cheek. (This isn’t too bad, but by eliminating the “hardly noticed,” you can make a more visual sentence.) Instead: He held her eyes, never once glancing at the scar criss-crossing her face. In that moment, she fell in love with him.
You will find a revolution in your writing when you kill your adverbs, I promise.
And yet, when you use adverbs, keep them near the verb: Instead of Take the garbage out. Take out the garbage.
4. Split Infinitives: No more “to boldly go where no man has gone before.” To go boldly is the correct usage.
5. Wimpy Voice: Be assertive when you write. Instead of “I’d like to thank you,” just thank the reader.
6. Misused Colons: Use after an independent clause to introduce a list.
Example: He toted several items to the curb: a rug, four kittens, his spouse, and an old racecar track.
7. Voicing Problems: Each character must have his/her own distinctive voice. They must not sound alike.
8. Lack of Details: Your writing will be richer if you stick to details rather than vagaries. Instead of: He ate lunch. He ate Copper River salmon with a dill reduction sauce.
9. Flabby Prose. We writers are in love with words, so much so that we tend to flaunt our use of them early in our careers. (I was guilty of this.) Strong nouns and strong verbs make a great impact. Adding extraneous adverbs and adjectives willy-nilly weakens the structure. Don’t try to fluff up your writing to impress people. Tell it like it is. Don’t believe me? Read The Kite Runner. Hosseini’s sentences are stark, full of detail, and have amazing emotive impact.
10. Same sentence structure over and over again. He had. He did. He saw. N-V. N-V. N-V. Spice it up a bit. Add a gerund or two. Start with a prepositional phrase. And vary sentence length. You don’t want staccato prose, nor do you want insanely long sentences that lose the reader.
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